Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Why diaperedkitten is a cunt...

 This is just my daddy's response to her. If you would like to see the preceding messages I read them on youtube. THE VIDEO


I understand your perspective on all of this. However, I think this systematic slam on my fiancee and partner has gone on for long enough. I understand that the two of you have disagreements and don't see eye to eye on a lot of topics, such as your choice to charge others for services that she provides for free. I understand that you feel that she brought opinions that were too different from your own to your party that was the centerpiece of your documentary participation. Trust me, I have the capacity to understand quite a bit about the innermost workings of this conversation and its conflicts because I saw firsthand how it has affected her. However, I feel that I would be doing my equal partner a disservice in not responding to these attacks. Frankly, I don't care if you wanted a response or if you are considering this matter closed on your own terms. I'm responding to set the record straight from my my own perspective.

I don't understand your attempt at psychological dissection of either our relationship, nor her mental state. The truth of the matter is that aside from the 1-2 times you've interacted with her in person, you don't know a lot about her. I seem to have a better position to make appropriate judgements regarding her and her mental state, and I've deemed that love is more important to me than a few minor issues that rarely seem to affect anything involving us. In fact, the last time I checked, you haven't even been granted the full degree or qualifications from any accredited university to practice psychology anywhere that I am aware of. If I am wrong, I'd be rather surprised. I don't recall a full intake exam being conducted by you with regards to my fiancee, so you are privy to only the small amount of observations you have been able to make at your own home. Why would I even bring this up? Yes, she has self admitted issues that she deals with, but I don't think labeling her in such a way (bipolar? DANGEROUS?) is anything that you're qualified to do.

I understand and respect your ability to make decisions with regard to your own events, I completely do. However, I felt long ago that continuing to try to attend your events was a poor decision because of the conflicts that the two of you have had. I reserved my judgement of the situation with a hope that maybe this could be resolved with further discussion and exposure to one another. However, it is clear that this has resolved itself through your decision to message me, so I no longer feel the need to continue to reserve my own judgement. I would encourage you to discontinue reading this if you have no further need to continue, because I feel that you have had your say, I have reserved mine, and now I am going to take my turn to say my piece.

I tried to be respectful of your home, yourself, your guests and your viewpoints. I was nothing but kind going into a situation I felt was a poor one for my little girl to be involved in. However, I think you and I have a a fundamental disagreement over my role in all of this. Then, to receive your gripes and complaints about it all and to remain civil is a feat that I think few would even bother to undertake. Yes, I am her daddy, hence this response. However, I take exception to your perception that I am her keeper. I'm not her master, she is not my property. It is role play. Granted, it is a lifestyle, but she is a human being. For you to assume that her emotions and feelings are unimportant is rather insulting to me personally and as her daddy, her partner, and her friend of 8+ years. I have no more power in such a relationship than in any other. Role play is just that... play. We have fun with it all, but its not a mandate on my role, her role or anyone else's role.

She is separate from myself. I feel the need to make that distinction simply because she has the fundamental right to be her own person as a human being. I would never attempt to curtail or control that ability because of a role she allows me to play. Lifestyle AB/DL aside, we are still equal partners in a relationship involving love, trust and friendship that goes beyond roles and play. We are embarking on our life together as equal partners, and I think that looking at us as such would be something that would be beneficial to you in understanding both her and I. Summary? When you message me and disregard messaging her, you are opening up a whole different dialogue than simply taking your issues to the source. I don't lack sympathy for your perspectives, but they are simply that... perspectives. If you felt insulted by her ability to hold differing opinions from yours, I'm sorry that you lack the capacity to be more open minded about how you perceive everyone's rights to engage in kink in their own lives.

I think that in reading your complaints about the situation, that is your fundamental complaint about her conduct, is that you have a disagreement in how and in what capacities people can interact in kink. She felt that the lifestyle choice of making money off of others who are interested in kink was a rather predatory practice, and voiced such an opinion in her own way. She disagreed with the pricing of such services as well, am I correct? So isn't that a fundamental disagreement on the implementation of professional services, rather than a slam on you personally? I disagree with mechanics charging so much to repair a car, but I highly doubt any mechanic would be personally insulted by such a difference of opinion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing to convince you of anything. You've had your say and did so to me unprovoked. Now I am giving you my unabridged response that now includes my opinions.

However, with those opinions come my objections to your conduct as well. You carry yourself in a very respectful manner, I must admit. Your compliment sandwich was rather flattering on the surface, but carried with it a rather snarky and snide underbelly that I will have no part in. The fact that you feel the need to openly take shots at her and to not have me respond in kind is insulting not only to her as the target of your insults, but to me, in thinking I'll simply stand idly by and allow you to take cheap shots at her. Yes, they are cheap shots. I understand that you're allowed your own opinions, but that doesn't make them fact or commonly accepted. We have worked equally as diligently in cultivating a large pool of true friendships in the Denver Metro area, as well as Colorado Springs, Pueblo, and elsewhere. I understand that painting yourself as an internet celebutant, the mommy with an AB side that was gifted with a nursery and a loyal circle of followers around her. However, that self anointed position does not justify your statements about her as a person. I don't think you have even given her the time of day as far as getting to know her as a person, as a friend, or as a human being.

Invites to parties are kind, but outside of that, there has been nothing further in an attempt to understand or know her personally. Frankly, if you ask her and I, I think that we would express the sentiment that in the case of the last encounter, we felt rather used. Used, you might say? Certainly. I feel like we were invited under the pretext of a fun get together, and that you had an anterior motive of using her as a piece of your cultivated and carefully groomed documentary image. You must be aware that you had no legal gag order in place, nor did you coach us beforehand in how we should or shouldn't participate in the documentary to better suit your grand design. You have to understand that you invited human beings into your home to give their experiences to the crew, and that they ~gasp~ might do so utilizing their own thoughts, feelings and perspectives. you know, free speech? Had you desired a cookie cutter result from my fiancee that was designed and edited by you, you invited the wrong girl.

To bring up another point on free speech, we freely indicated to the documentary crew the feelings of censorship of our perspective that were pervasive throughout the party. In fact, I recall others voicing similar opinions when asked by the crew about their freedom to express themselves without control. I hate to burst the bubble of your perfected and cultivated image that you worked so hard to convey, but people are interesting that way. You put a camera in front of people and ask them to speak their minds candidly and you get it. Hmm. The documentary crew in fact had been in contact with my fiancee the entire time, and had expressed an interest in conducting individual interviews with her and others at the party without your oversight. I don't think the documentary crew was ignorant to the issue that the participants were in effect being gagged by the host. I'm just bringing this up in point to inform you that sometimes others aren't as in the dark about things as you might think.

Rather than insult you personally, I feel that in choosing to respond the way that I have, I've been able to spare you some grief in having to digest some of my more colorful commentary. In short, while you can play the part of a nice, innocent girl, I think its plain to see that anyone would would recognize how you are truly coming across in this discussion as a master manipulator. That was always the main criticism I had heard throughout the local community and online as well of you personally. I gave you an open mind and a chance to prove everyone wrong, but it is becoming abundantly clear that the reputation you've received has been diligently earned. I'm sorry that you have been diagnosed with cancer. Its truly a tragedy that this disease ravages our population, and I know several people in my life have been afflicted by it. However, it has no bearing nor merit in our discussion. Don't get me wrong, it sucks, it really does, but that does not forgive your backhanded compliments nor your slams on my fiancee as a person. Just because a person gets cancer, or has their own life issues, does not excuse their childish and bipolar behavior.

See, I can properly utilize psychological terms in context. The difference between you and I is that I have full, warranted degrees to discuss such topics in an academic setting. You might be painting yourself as one thing... presenting yourself as one side of the coin whilst concealing the other, but too often, the concealed side is the one that shows. I felt manipulated into action at your party when you expressed concern for my fiancee's opinions, and frankly, I am sorry. I am sorry not to you, but to her for reacting the way that I did to attempt to help you save face. All truth told, you had no right to try to control your guests' opinions in such a way, you had no right to try and sway opinions against me and force my hand to react the way that I did, and most of all... you had no right to message me, slam my fiancee openly, and not expect a sharp response from me in return. Similarly, you had no right to try and manipulate my fiancee's state of being in such a way with your reactions and choice statements about her.

To be frank, your statement revoking her right to attend your events is not unexpected. In all honesty, we had collectively decided prior to attending you last event that we would no longer attend any events you decided to throw in the community, so we're not missing out in any regard. We had decided that the purpose for us attending was simply to provide her own perspective to the documentary, spend some time with our friends, and make the best of the inevitable feelings of ill will from you and you alone. I'd say we get along with everyone else there, but your mental state, victim complex, and over inflated sense of self importance has long made a functioning friendship with you rather impossible. Friends do things together... spend time together, go to bars, go to the zoo, talk together on the phone, hell, come over just to watch a flick or BS with one another. To my recollection, you made zero such attempts to do anything of the sort, something which our dozens of other local friends do on a daily basis with us, openly and without the manipulation we felt from you.

Thank you for writing me, regardless of how backhanded it might have been (see, I can compliment sandwich, too). It allowed us some real insight into your personality and your motivations. Sometimes in people's lives, you have to make difficult decisions with regards to who you choose to associate with. Fortunately for us, you have made this process a whole lot less difficult for myself, Brian, and my fiancee. Thank you so much. I wasn't writing last time to elicit a response, nor did I expect one, or the ability to "negotiate" her ban from your party. I wrote to say in a nicer way to not send me any further messages in return. As clearly, you have been unable to read between the lines, I will clearly state it for your benefit:

Don't reply to this.
Don't attempt to contact myself or my fiancee further.
If you attempt to sully our reputations locally, good luck with that one.
If you ever wonder why you don't have any real friends locally, take a step back and consider not only your own mental state, but the conduct that guides how you carry yourself and how you interact with other people.
Manipulation only works to a certain extent. Sorry.

In the case that you do attempt to contact any of us any further, we'll seek a FetLife restraining order against you. Thank you for your time.


Friday, November 16, 2012

Social Media

   Many of my readers are aware of my youtube, but I've decided to start using Twitter and Tumblr. Links will be added and check it out if you would like. Apparently Tumblr has a spot for questions, so if anyone would like to ask me something I will try my best to keep up with that. I will also be posting on Twitter when I have new content on my blog or youtube, so be sure to follow me there. I only have one follower so far.. :(


Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I really don't update my blog as much as I should. I make my youtube videos, but there are even times when I don't really feel like doing that. The last few weeks have been incredibly rough for me. I don't really want to go into to much detail, but I have been very depressed. A few of my friends really hurt my feelings, and I guess I just kinda went off the edge. I was in a hospital with my favorite stuffie Jay the lion, and he came up missing. It has really crushed my spirits lately. My Daddy got me a very big soft stuffed puppy, and I named him Max. He is nice, but he's not Jay. I went to my first session with a new therapist tonight though, and I really think it will be a positive experience this time. I have just been trying to focus on myself lately, and eliminating those things that make me feel crappy.  

Sunday, September 30, 2012


Well I have never been a morning person, and I have always been able to stay up late into the night. My daddy has gotten sick of it though. I will stay up for days at a time. I definetly know I have insomnia, and I take meds for that, but I don't always take them. My Daddy decided that I need to start getting my sleep at night, and that I need to be on a shedule for things to remind me what I have to do. He made me a very neat chart of the things I need to do once a month, once a week, and every day. At the end of each day, if I do what he wrote, I get a sticker. If I get 5 out of the 7 stickers a week he will give me 25 dollars to spend on something fun. If I can go all month with only missing 3 stars or less he will give me  a surprise. I am excited about that.
   I definitely was not thrilled about having...  a bed time, but I do need one. I make myself sick by not sleeping. He put parental controls on all of the computers and internets to go off at midnight. Even the xbox wont let me play on it after midnight if he finds out. I have to be in bed at 1 with my milk and Jay and my Paci. The time between 12 and 1 is for winding down. I was super mad that he took away the computers, but I guess it is cuz he cares.
   We took a trip to Mes Verde yesterday. OMG It is beautiful there. He changed me on the side of the rode in some town, and let me out of the car to play for a few minutes. Then when we got there we had to wait for our tour up to the balcony house. I took a nap laying on my Daddy for about 15 minutes. Then our Tour was ready to start. It was amazing! We had to walk down a ton of steps, and then we got to a flat area, and we had to climb through tiny tunnels. The Pueblo people thought of using the tiny tunnels as a way of rebirth. It was a very spiritual experience for me. I felt energy everywhere. It was unreal. Onthe other side of the tunnel was a ladder. It was a long climb up, but once we got to the top it was so neat. There were pueblos carved right into the side of the rocks. There was a sacrificial kiva and places for living and food storage. Then we climbed up another 30 ft tunnel.
   That was when I started to feel like I couldn't breath. I had no oxygen. I kept on caughing. I started to realize I needed my inhaler. I made my daddy pull over at the ranger station, but nobody was there. We went further up the road and pulled over at a hotel. My daddy ran inside and I stopped breathing I passed out, annd couldn,t see. I was so scared, and I couldn't stop crying. Finally my door opened and there was a very nice old native american woman standing next to me she let me use a inhaler and it kind of helped, but I still couldn't breath. The lady just set there with me and rubbed my back, and petted my hair. She was very sweet. She told me that they were trying but they just don't understand how serious this is. I couldn't see her my eyes went blank. She talked with me about my toys in the backseat and told me how cute they were.Finally the emt showed up with oxygen,and she gave me that while he took my blood pressure. I started to stabalize, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. Eventually my breathing was normal and I could see. I thanked the lady, and then realized that I knew her daughter. What a small world it is...huh?
   Today Im just checking my accounts and Im starting to receive peoples responses on how they got into this. I love everyones support. It makes me feel like I am not writting without reason. I just want to tell everyone of my readers that you are fucking awesome. We may be weird to others. We may not always get along, but we still have a fucking amazing community. Embrace that! Thank you everyone...   

I'm loving the responses Ive received in regards to the last video. Keep them coming!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Labels? Video Update

I figured I would post this on my blog. I really don't feel like writing all of my thoughts down right now, so I made a video... Please respond back if you are a follower.

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Move Is Over

Well I'm finally moved in. Well I'm not all the way unpacked, but I'm here finally. It's so nice having my own space. There were lots of suprises waiting for me when I got here. Daddy got me new Lalaloopsy toys, and a cell phone. I haven't had a cell phone in awhile, so it's really cool.
Daddy is at work right now. It made me realize that I don't have any friends here yet. At least I got to see everyone on Friday night to say goodbye. Sprouts, D0dger, me_, and Mausline came, and we grilled shrimp and burgers. I threw Daddy a birthday party, and we went to play lazer tag at Boondocks. Sprouts won 2000 tickets on some game, and Daddy and him gave them away to some random kid. I was kinda jelly..lol Dodger gave me a super cool bunny that lights up, and that made me all better. We had a pretty good time, but I was so tired at the end of the night.
I'm missing everyone already! I'm already looking forward to coming back to Denver on the first for Kat's munch. I hope I can get over this homesickness soon....

Thursday, June 28, 2012


Super cool pink goggles!
I'm on vacation with family right now. We flew into Chicago, and looked around for awhile. We stopped at some cool places. My daddy went to the Lego store, so I made him walk with me through The American Girl store. We stopped at a bunch of really good places for food and drinks. It's been fun... We went to the Michigan sand dunes, and had a great time. I got to build a sand castle with my daddy. Our dune buggies broke down, but it was still fun. We rented a house, and ended up sleeping in a room with a REALLY squeaky bed. We are back in Indiana right now. It is really hot outside, so I'm hiding inside playing fetch with my cousins cat Mr. Kitty. I've never seen a cat play fetch, but it is pretty entertaining.  
I haven't really had any time to be little, and it is driving me crazy. I wore the first night I was here, because I had a lot to drink, and I was exhausted. I was paranoid about wetting the bed, so I slept terribly. I wore last night for the first time since, and it was a good thing. I wet the bed, and I leaked. I haven't been so worried about a wet bed in a long time. I will be happy to be home and have some little time. Being grown up 24/7 is soooo boring. I did sneak my wubbie, my binky, and Jay along everywhere I have gone. I just don't feel right unless they are there. I hide my wubbie and my binky, but Jay has been out quite a lot. I don;t really care what my family thinks about me being 23, and having a stuffed animal. My blanket and binky are a whole different thing.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

It's Daddy Day!!!

Well, I know my Daddy isn't actually a dad, but being a daddy to a little seems like it would be harder. He is a great daddy. He takes care of me, and makes sure I'm happy. Yes, we have our moments like any couple, but we get over them. I know that he will always be there for me, even when I am being a brat. He has a way of making me feel so safe and loved. At night when he puts my diaper on, and kisses my tummy, I know that everything is okay. It takes a special kind of man to be a daddy to a little. Not only does he care for my inner child, but also for the adult side of me. Not just any guy could be up for the challenge. Thank you Daddy for being the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world!!

Friday, June 1, 2012

I'm going to have fun today. I'm AB sitting, I got to be mommy last night for d. We watched Up,and MonstersInc. It was a lot of fun.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Okay, I have started making a vlog on youtube. I will continue with my blog, because I love writing, but it seems people are to lazy to read. The link to my chanel is here, and just subscribe because I won't be posting every time I update. My Youtube Chanel

Monday, May 7, 2012

Ageplayers Anonymous Munch

Well, the first Ageplayers Anonymous munch occurred on Saturday. Ageplayers Anonymous is the group I lead on fetlife. If you haven't joined you should, cuz we are super cool. There was a huge turnout. D and I thought it would be pretty small, since we only gave a weeks notice, but sooo many people came. I met lots of new people. The munch was hosted at Kit's house in Arvada, and it will definitely be happening again soon. There were a lot of new faces there. Even better is that most of them were my age. That really made me happy to know that there were so many of us in the Denver area. We colored, watched some seriously creepy kids movies, jumped on a trampoline in the rain... There was breast feeding and fuzzy_dunlop and I got spanked for being bad. No running in the house..Boo!

After the party my friend came over, and let me suck on her.... It was amazing. I've never just done that before, and I really enjoyed it. It was so relaxing, like drugs or something. On Tuesday I am going to her house to play with another little she is babysitting. Sounds like it will be interesting.... Bye for now.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Watching Weeds...

Sitting here bored to death watching one of my favorite shows "Weeds". Thought I should update, and let everyone know what is going on with me. My first set just popped up on Aunt Elli. I feel cool now. I actually got paid to do something I like. I'm also working with one of my new fetlife friends to have a munch this Saturday. I'm soo excited. It was short notice, so a lot of people can't make it. Next time I would like it to be more thought out, but I'm still stoked to finally have a munch for my friends to go to. The Denver area hasn't been very active Lately, and I would really like to change that. I know how bad it sucks to feel like you are alone in this. I wish there were more ab girls around...but oh well. I have lettucebaby, and she loves LaLaLoopsey, so that makes me happy enough. She is going to absit for the first time next week, and I'm curious to see how that goes. It's cool to see people come out of their shell. Now to just find all of the people hiding in Denver. I would like to start making youtube videos for my little side. I get so nervous in front of a camera though. I never know what to say....

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Mystical Land of Storage

    Today we went to D's storage unit. That in normal circumstances would be easy, but it is on the other side of Colorado. Let's just say it made things a bit difficult. The ride down was beautiful. I love road trips. I wore a diaper just in case I fell asleep in the car. I didn't on the way down. The funny thing is that I had never been to D's storage. I just haven't had the chance. When I went to see him, and he was in college, he lived in a dorm room. It was small, so not many personal items were there. Then he moved here to Colorado, and the majority of what he brought went straight into storage. Seeing his stuff for the first time was really cool. It was like seeing a part of him that I've never seen before. His ex had some of her boxes in there, and that was kind of hurtful to me. Something about just seeing her shit in there made me feel like she was more real. I'm a jealous person I guess, and it sucks that someone knew him before me...lol HE'S MINE!!!
   On the other hand the day turned out to be pretty fun. I got my hair cut. I've always wanted to donate my hair, so I finally did it. I love my new short hair. We also went to some casinos on the way back. They gave me $5 to sign up for a card. I used the card, and won 10. I ended up with 30, and I got to play craps with D. Which was pretty fun.The day actually turned out pretty well.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

If you feel like it...

Well, I doubt anyone really cares, but I'm having a hard time affording diapers. I've started modeling through Aunt Elli, but the money hasn't really started coming in yet. I don't have a "real job" right now, just making money where I can. I've started AB Sitting. I actually really enjoy it, but so far I've only done it once. Plus I'm doing it ridiculously cheap as far as that type of thing goes. I hate worrying about money, but I guess I can't be little all the time. I really do need the diapers at night. My meds have me knocked out so bad that I have been leaking in the middle of the night. Living in an apartment sucks...laundry is super expensive. I just need some diapers that won't leak, and they are a little more than I can afford at the moment. I will try to continue taking pics for my blog and fetlife, but I don't know how I will be able to work that out without diapers. So, If anyone cares to help...donate what you can. Also, if you are an AB in the Denver area check out my fetlife page under writings for an application, rates, and rules for sitting. I've checked around and it seems the average without a nursery is around 35-40 per hour. I'm only asking 20 for the first 5 hours and then 15 an hour after that. I just hate asking for shit. It's got to the point though that I really don't know what to do. Maybe things will get better once I start school.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


So other than having my first babysitting experience with my friend Jarrod...It was super fun. I also went to have a sleepover with LeyLey that night. We watched movies, she painted my nails, we did each others hair, and we played with the lalaloopsey dolls. She has tons of them, and I finally got one. She is messy just like me. We tried taking pics for a photo shoot, but we didn't get enough before we got tired, so I put some of them on my fetlife. She also recorded me playing. I posted it on youtube.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Im gonna be on Aunt Elli

So I've sold my soul to the AB/DL devil. I did a photo set for Aunt Elli . I think the pics came out pretty cute. They haven't updated the site, but I'm sure you will be able to see them soon. I will for sure be doing more soon, and maybe even some videos. Who knows??? I love taking pictures, so it is fun for me.

Monday, March 26, 2012

OMG! Very uncomfortable!!!

Watching Stanley buying a onesie at taxpayers expense. To make it even more uncomfortable my mom is sitting here with me. Funny shit. I am completely thinking about being a mommy right now. I could do that. I would probably even enjoy it.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Where to start..

Wow I really don't even know where to start with this. I came out to my mom about the ABDL thing. She thought I was going crazy, because she kept on finding shit...She took it badly, but she is okay now. I feel bad about it, but shit happens. I couldn't just let her keep on thinking I was doing something worse than what I was. Meh... So went to the Munch in the Springs and I brought my new friend LeyLey she is lettucebaby on fetlife. She expressed to me that she was a little, so I completely made her go little at the party. We had lots of fun coloring with Rachel. Then we had Daddy drive us home in her awesome van. We picked up D0dger on the way and headed up to my house. D0dger and I had some good St.Patty's day fun with tequila and beer.. I cuddled up to LeyLey and my daddy at bedtime. I LOVED cuddling with LeyLey just something about her makes me wanna cuddle...I'm a cuddle whore :) Cuddles for everyone!! Tonight we went to Kat's house for a play party. It was soooo much fun. We showed up late as always, but made it in time to hang out and color eggs and hunt for them. I got spanked hard by Kat for giving my friend Tyler candy, when he wasn't supposed to have it. I have bruises on my butt from the paddle. She pulled me over her knee in front of everyone, and pulled down my diaper. Then she spanked me 42 times, but I had to count them. Every time I lost count she made me start all over again!! I lost count at like 30 something and then again when I was in the 40's. It actually was what I needed and I would like to think I behaved the rest of the night. Kat let me spank Tyler a few times, and I loved it!! Then I got to play with her rubber band gun Thor...apparently it is used to shot guys in the balls. I seriously didn't know how I felt about that, but ended up completely loving doing that. I got in trouble for shooting D0dger though. Kat said that's a No No... boo D0dger finally ended up getting spanked by Kay, and he completely loved it. Afterwards we headed to my place for some RockBand and orange vodka, and blue moon.D0dger let me put him in heels and dress him up like the queen of hearts. He makes me laugh. I've decided that since there are no real abdl girls in my area that want to hang out...Ill just make Brian be that way :) Okay gotta go take out all evidence of a crazy night out to the dumpster...so I guess it's goodbye until I can get on here again...Love anyone that actually takes the time to read my blog...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Casa Bonita with Daddy and Jarrod

This last week I've had quite a lot of fun. My friend Jarrod took my daddy and I to Casa Bonita. We had a lot of fun. My daddy ate so much I swore he was going to die. Jarrod and I went to watch the cave divers. Then we went in the caves, and to a haunted house. It was cool. They did a puppet show that even made my daddy laugh. After filling up sopapillas with TONS and I mean TONS of honey on them w headed home. Jarrod and I made bottles with coke and vodka. YUMM Then we played guitar hero 5. We rocked out and beat the game. After that we both went little Jarrod changed into his sleeper, and my daddy changed me into my onesie. We made a place on the floor with lots of comfy blankets, and played with blocks that Jarrod brought. We made a ginormous car with a gun on the front! I gave Jarrod his new Teddy Bear Ted. Ted has a purple carebear named Bob on his neck. They are cool! We finally started to settle down and we watched the Labyrinth. I'm still scared to death of David Bowie...Eeep! Jarrod got sleepys and fell asleep. Then when the movie was over he had to go home. I hope we get to hang out soon.
  I took some photos for a site called aunt-elli.com. I'm really excited to start earning money doing something I already love to do.Okay I will post a few pics from Casa Bonita,  but then it's off to bed.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

A New Onesie...

I have the best daddy in the whole world. He bought me a super cute onesie. I love it, and it is super comfy. I went and watched The Lorax yesterday in 3D at the IMAX, with my daddy and d0dger. It was really cool! I thought the movie was really well made. It did have a scary part with creepy birds though. I HATE BIRDS!!! Especially super creepy giant 3D birds! Eeep... After the movie we went to d0dger's house, he has a super cute kitty cat. Not much else to say...My mom is driving me insane, but what's new? Lol

Friday, March 2, 2012

Today I got in trouble...

   So, tonight I got in a little bit of trouble with mmy daddy. I just get in these moods where I want things my way. I just wanted my bottle. I didn't want to have my pants changed! I was fighting him a lot on it, so he restrained me, and used suppositories. IT WAS NOT FUN!!! I don't think I want to be bad for awhile, so I'm going to try my hardest to be a good girl. I don't want to do that again! My tummy is still all ouchy...

   He took some pictures of me in his super cool Ninja Turtles shirt. We were playing horsey, and I leaked on his leg...lol I have been wearing Depends some during the day, because I've had a terrible rash. They really don't hold very much, so I'm forced to have my diaper changed frequently. I think it's getting better, but for some reason my skin is super sensitive. I think there was a lesson learned here though. Don't wear Depends if you are going to play horsey.. It can make a mess. :)
  Saturday I am going to go see The Lorax with my daddy, d0dger, and my new friend Amy. Anyone else who will be in the Denver area this Saturday is invited. There is a link to the event on my fetlife page. I would be thrilled if we could get some more people, but I'll be happy either way. It's always fun hanging out with new people.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


I guess confused would be an understatement. I'm a little bit hurt, and upset. My little side is quite rambunctious, and like me very impulsive in her decision making. I go little for many different reasons. One of them being as a way to escape my adult life. When you are little you can pretty much do whatever, but the fear of getting in trouble is always there. Even if you get in trouble, your daddy should always still love you. Unconditional love is what I am mainly looking for. That I can be a brat, hit, talk back, throw stuff, but that after my daddy punishes me he will still care for me. Well, that being said I don't know what happened tonight. My daddy and I were playing around. I was hungry, and I wanted to get out of bed. I don't know what came over me, but I just wanted him to pay attention. I started to throw a fit, and I hit him. I got spanked, but I was still being pouty. He said that he had to go to the bathroom, and left. While he was gone,  I took all of his Xbox games off of the shelf. I wanted to stack them up, and make a castle. He came back in the room, and was very upset. He told me to stop, but I didn't want to. Then he said he was over it. I continued acting little, and put them back, but they weren't in the right order he wanted them. He told me to move, but I didn't want to. Then he said he was leaving. I don't know if it's the fact that I was abandoned as a teen, or if it was my borderline again, but I can't take it. It felt like I was really a kid, and my daddy was so mad that he just didn't want to love me anymore. I know this isn't the case. That in all reality I am 23 years old, and I know he loves me, but my little sides feelers were crushed. I curled up with my Jay and hid under my blanket, and cried it out. I'm crying right now as I type this. I don't know what is wrong with me. D was upset, and I can understand that. He really really hurt me though when he said, "You wonder why people get annoyed and quit doing this." Meaning that people quit doing the daddy thing. I cried a little more, but he kept on getting ready to leave. He said he was getting ready to go get some food. I got up, took off my diaper, and started getting dressed. I didn't want him to leave without me. He told me he wanted to talk. I told him my feelers were hurt, but that I would get over it. He kept on asking me to tell him what was wrong. At the moment I honestly didn't know. I felt like a moron for acting like a baby. I can't even explain how shitty I felt. I knew I had to use my coping skills before I really let myself go over the edge. I removed myself from the situation, and distracted myself from the moment. I left and walked around the block. I felt so much better when I came back, but he still wanted to talk. I finally gave in and it just made me feel terrible all over again. I need to respect his boundaries, and understand when it's not fun for him anymore. I just don't understand he drew me a vendiagram. In case you don't know it's that thing with two circles that overlap. The one was my little side, and the other was big me. He said that I should balance the two. Then he drew me at the moment, where the little side completely covered the big side. That is exactly how it is for me though. My little side just takes over. That is how I escape! Once again though I don't know if this could also all be going back to the issue of my borderline, and seeing things as black and white. Either I'm big or I'm little. There is never any grey with me.... Oh well... I'll try to figure it out. If anyone has any advice for either of us it would be greatly appreciated. Ouch, I just feel like a dumb ass now. Grrr I hate me sometimes. Why can't I just be freakin normal?????

It's been awhile..

Dodger and I pretending to be gangster...lol
Kat and I had fun tying Dodger's shoes together!
  Well, I went to a munch in Colorado Springs last week, and met a lot of cool people. Hopefully we can get a more organized group of Ageplayers in Colorado. I would like to see more of the younger people in the Denver area get together. I'm sure we could have lots of fun. We live in an amazing city, and there is always so much to do inside and out. Kat from diaperedkitten is having a munch soon at her house. I really can't wait for that one.
   I was looking around online, and came across a site called pajamacity.com They sell footed jammies for so much cheaper than other places I've seen. I saw some pairs on their sale page for 14 dollars! That's craziness!
  My Daddy is off for the next few days, so hopefully we will do something fun. Casa Bonita, Toys R Us, The Zoo....so many things I can think of to do. I wish my daddy had more time off work :(

Friday, February 17, 2012


  Today kind of sucked. I have a super bad headache. The zoo really didn't happen, but I guess that was okay because it was cold as fuck outside. We were going to go see a movie, but now it's snowing, and my head feels like crap. Owww what is going on????

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Wow today has been boring. My daddy got a new laptop, so he has been messing with that for awhile. I'm little once again and don't know what to do. We are going to try to go to the zoo tomorrow. That will be fun. I miss seeing all the cool animals, and daddy promised me icecream...YUMMY! I'll take lots of pictures. For now I am just bored!!!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Great Valentine's Day

   This was the first year I was able to spend Valentine's Day with my daddy, and it was amazing! We went to Boulder, and walked around the Pearl Street Mall. Daddy took me to get ice cream, and I had the bestest cone ever. I was wearing a pretty thick diaper under my skirt, and by the time we got home I was a mess. Daddy let me play, and make him a super cool card.(It's an Owl)Then he cleaned me up cuz he is a good daddy. Today was the best Valentines Day ever!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ice Cream for Breakfast

I must say the most awesome thing about not being a little girl, is eating ice cream for breakfast. Yum!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hi My Name Is Lolly and I'm Addicted to Ice Coffee

    Seriously I think I have an addiction. Every time I see cold coffee I need it. I'm a caffeine junkie. Im trying to cut out the Mt Dew from my diet...Lets see how long I can make that last. I love juice, so I'm going to try to substitute that in.
   On a more serious note. I thought about giving up my little side last night. I really had to think if I could just be a normal adult. I would get rid of all my kids clothes, my toys, crayons....I would have so much room. Geez Lolly takes up a bunch of space! I would just be blah and normal. It doesn't sound very fun. So, I came to a conclusion..my daddy loves that part of me, I love that part of me, and it is who I am. Getting rid of all the stuff would only make Lolly go away for a few days. Then she would be back again wondering why i gave away all her super cool stuff. So, I will just let my little side play as she wants to. My big side just goes along for the ride..lol

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Kinda Creepy

Lol It's a cult!!! They came to my blog...weird and very creepy. Kinda funny since none of what they say is true. Except for the fact that I was willing to inflict bodily harm on the dumb bitches. That was definitely true. Whatever...I just don't like to play nice. I don't know how my daddy keeps on getting dragged into all of this. He seriously was pissed that I even said anything to them. He is so nice about everything. People can treat him like shit, but he will be completely cool with them. That's just the kind of person he is.
     Anyway, the point of even posting this is that this is a journal for me. This is where I post my thoughts and feelings. If you don't like me don't read my blog. I don't go playing stalker on any of those peoples shit. I want to be left alone. Just let it go. I got my feelings out, and I'm over it. Stop sending the flying monkies!!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Diaper Group where they don't discuss diapers????

     So, recently I've been in an ongoing battle with the group"Young Ageplayers 18-35" on fetlife. I went in there thinking, "Oh cool, some normal people that ageplay." I came out with a seriously fucked up outlook on the group as a whole. It is set up by a bunch of girls that are really bitchy. I don't see how in a fetish like this that they think they are better than anyone else. I mean this is a group that will rip you a new one for mentioning diapers. If they don't want to talk about it they should get facebook accounts. This stupid girl starts a thread whining about how someone is stealing her pics and putting them on a tumblr account. She is upset even though she steals peoples pics and does the exact same thing. Then someone suggested watermarking your photos. She said that they could edit it out. The person said to do a big fuck you across them like mine. She then called me paranoid and said I shouldn't even post pics cuz it takes away from them. I went off ....Its been going on ever since. I think it has finally died down some, but it still pisses me off. I really hate those bitches. The sad thing is that they are just jealous. Most of them are actually not that pretty. Good thing they are good at myspace angles. Not to mention their ugly insides to match what they have on the outside.
     Now that I got that out of my system I can move on...lol I'm going to a munch on the 18th in Colorado Springs. My new friend Jarod is going to take us. I'm super excited to meet more new people.

*I deleted the fat statement because it was mean. In my defense though. I was called fat first...by one of the monkeys

Friday, February 3, 2012

Monday, January 30, 2012

Im a lil but curious...

So, last night I had a dream I was breastfeeding with a mommy. She was petting my hair and I could hear my daddy in the background telling me I was a good girl for mommy.It made me so happy. I don't know where I'm going with this though, because so far I have had no luck in finding another woman that would treat me like this.I would want my daddy to be able to be there. We have both agreed that there would be nothing sexual between daddy or mommy, but maybe something sexual with mommy and me if daddy gets to be there. It doesnt have to be sexual though. I really just want to have a mommy to love me the same way my daddy does. Maybe I'm being to needy. I have a daddy who I love very very much and I would not trade him for a zillion mommies. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm just curious. I want someone to dress me in cute outfits and do my hair and play dollies with me....meh sad.....:(

Saturday, January 28, 2012


So I got the best present ever today...A good friend of mine who is a daddy and knows how much a little girl needs her diapers helped me out. So now I don't hafta wear stupid pullups!!! Yay YAYYY!!! Super Excited! I love when people are just nice. It makes me so happy to know that there are people out there that really do care for me...It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)

Friday, January 27, 2012

Big Girl Drinks Make Me Feel Like A Little Girl!!

So, last night Daddy took me out for Mexican food and a few drinks. I drank two margaritas and two screwdrivers and was pretty drunk. I haven't really drank at all since I was twenty, so it was fun to be able to do it legally. Good thing I was wearing my diaper, cuz I went very little once I started drinking. We walked home, but I got in a little bit of trouble cuz I ran to far ahead. My daddy said I need to stay with him, and hold his hand when we cross the street. The big girl drinks made me feel super little though, and I had a lots of fun. Thanks Daddy!!!